Moving in to 2017

On this last day of 2016, I want to remember God’s grace in our relationship.
This journey has been one which God has also been faithful.
We may fail on God but God never will give up on us.

Lessons in 2016:
Prayer
Lately, I have found myself praying more to God. Things change when you pray. Suddenly, the problems arising from my family seem so much lighter on our shoulders when the attitude shifts from carrying it myself to lifting it to God.

Less is more
I have learnt that I cannot attempt to explain my rationale for every choice that I/we may take to my parents. This is simply because people just think differently and I simply cannot expect them to conform to my choice, especially not when they believe that children should not be telling parents what to do. I have learnt less is more and learnt not to talk when not required in difficult situations with my parents especially, prayer is much more.

Discernment from God
I do believe they want to be good parents, perhaps overly to the extent of wanting their voice to be heard in the relationship because they feel it is for the better of us. However, where does this benchmark come? People or God? I think that is something we always think when we see our parents fail-I do not want to be xx like them in future when I’m a parent. But, as a parent, we will fail because it is the fundamental nature of human, which is therefore crucial to have God- our benchmark and source of discernment of what is the right choice in situations and good friends- to direct you towards God, to share life experiences with God.

Time
I am certain that my parents want a good relationship with us. However, they need time to deal with changes. With time, people change, circumstances change. When we place our identity in people – such as your children, you will feel lost when the time comes for your children to move on to the next phase. Even your spouse may leave you one day. The only thing that will not change will be God. Learning to celebrate changes in others’ life and embracing it is the way to journey together with them. Sometimes the more you try to hinder the person from changing, it serves to destroy the relationship rather than restore it.

Love
Love has entered my life in the most amazing way possible and we are engaged! Never would I thought I could find a person who could love me in the most child-like, romantic, thoughtful way possible. Through his eyes, I can see God and it draws me closer to God. I wish for an eternity together on this earth with you, Gordon.

As we step into 2017, it will be exciting with the changes ahead making arrangements for the wedding. Yet it may be faced with challenges arising from my family. We want to hold on to the rock we have in Christ and we know this journey will be amazing simply because we are in it together. I love you Gordon, it’s been a great year. 🙂

Your Jaz

2016-Jaz Version

It’s been a while, and I admit because G’s been too busy I kind of succumbed to becoming lukewarm of this adventure blog which we discussed with excitement last year! So let me record down my recollection of the adventures from this year 2016-J’s version from her limited memory capacity.

First, I would like to keep this forgotten link here. This was the first separated overseas adventure we had-one which I think got Gordon a bit unsettled because of my lack of assurance in terms of my ❤ for him back then.. when we were still at our beginning stage in 2013.
http://gj4eva.blogspot.sg/

So, 2016 did not turn out well at the first half of this year while Gordon was at exchange. Gordon was having fun, so was I… too much perhaps, that I forgot that love is trying your best for one another constantly. Surely there were some good happy times while we facetime, share updates along the day. At the same time, during the increasing quarrels, perhaps I forgot to practice love, understanding, patience. If time could turn back, on my part I would like to do some things differently. Then again, please don’t go back to time, because LDR is not fun! Now things are so much better with gordon by my side. And.. I’ve learnt. I’ve grown in maturity. Gordon has also grown, and oh how proud am I of him. I think the takeaway from this is HUMILITY, and in everything, DO WITH LOVE. It’s always so comforting knowing that even when you fail, the person next to you is there and won’t give up on you. And you just know you are moving to a better destination. Isn’t that just like in the case with God? Thank you Gordon, for being such a lover to me 🙂

Second half of 2016. We grew deeper in love. We both agreed, it feels like through the tough patch during LDR and handling those issues.. we have come out stronger. I feel that I do want to become a better person, more understanding, patient, selfless. And it feels like we just know the love that exists between us has grown to a whole new deeper level… Gordon had his internship at SAM. We dated as full time workers. Then Gordon re-adjusted to student life (slowly towards the end) and we were back to our dating and currently busy school period for Gordon. It feels familiar at this phase again, but I think we both have grown 🙂 And things are building up to the next stage. I just can feel it but can’t get Gordon to talk about it (him and his surprise plans). This leaves me feeling like wow we have really come a long way.. this is happening soon?!?! excited yet bitter-sweet feelings towards my family. Don’t get me wrong Gordon, I am excited alright? 🙂 I’m sure that a greater adventure is awaiting.. and.. what I know of currently is…

  • Dec 2-Dec 21 2016 (to the land that jaz dno where)
    10-20 degrees.. somewhere cold! europe? australia?
    bring boardgames.. so maybe with friends…
    no need trail shoes.. but bring shoes.. maybe roadtrip? driving car? no idea….
    since i am bring luggage bag.. should be a relaxing trip?

Just wanna say.. I appreciate all your efforts Gordon! And the pre notebook surprise you gave me in Batam for our 3 year anniv gift with invisible marker ink? Such a sweetheart dear! Thank you for making my life so exciting!

Of course, I missed out our Sep 16-25 2016 Japan trip with Bob…filled with adventure (typhoon, plane delay) and incredible fun (good food, accomodation, experience!) which I’ll leave to next time 🙂

Your Jaz

 

 

 

The last date before the un-welcomed farewell

Love is giving without expecting.
And yesterday, I realised how terribly I am at it still. As 2016 comes, my resolution will be to become a better person who can love even better, selflessly.

Words can’t express my gratitude towards Gordon for the efforts he put in yesterday. What a sweet heart whom I’m gonna miss deeply. From asking me to take the escalator up to level 1 which felt like a proposal to handing me a sweetly handpicked bouquet with lots of meaning behind it, to secretively leading me with smiles written all over his face to GV Gold Class, to being a happy innocent little boy and showering me with love before during and after the movie. This is the boy who loves someone so incomplete like me and whom I can truly say is a gift I am truly grateful for.

As today marks the end of the year, it also marks the coming of a new phase – LDR, one which I do not anticipate. Perhaps I will become more independent, I will be more spiritually matured, I will be closer to Gordon’s family, I will become better at cooking, badminton, singing, I will be fitter, I will have a more established career, I will age a bit more, I will encounter more annoying people or experiences and make new friends or develop closer relationships with existing friends, things will become better at home. One thing for sure is, I will definitely miss the physical presence of him.

I can only conclude that I am ever so thankful for Gordon entering my life, and may 2016 be a year for both of us to grow our relationship even further. I love you, dearest Gordon. Thank you for everything.

Your Jaz

CSC Run by the Bay 2015 21KM

Last Sunday, November 8 2015, thanks to dear Gordon’s challenge, I completed my first 21km alongside with him and 3 other friends, lieyang, arthur, marshall. It still doesn’t feel real that I can now call myself a half marathon runner. And I owe it to Gordon for bringing me to greater heights, for those who have sweat it out with me – mostly lieyang, hanwei, david, lin le, and for all who believed in me. Special thanks to the bro who even wore a different colour shirt that day to help me recognise him easily to help me with my run. And God definitely helped me by taking away the ache I was getting, the stitch I had, and giving me strength when I called for it.

The night before, dinner was taken at 8pm (supposedly earlier, but mum got delayed while buying) and lots of water drank following the advice of Gordon and lieyang. Finally, got to sleep around 1030, before waking up again at 3am to my first of many alarms which is probably accounted to the anxious feeling in me. Dad and I set off from home around 340am and I was dropped off at the carpark opposite marina square, following some hiccups – going into the wrong carpark and waving at a stranger whom I thought was lieyang and arthur’s friend. After trying to get into the hotel to use the toilet, followed by using marina square toilet, we finally reached the floating platform and found gordon. And it wasn’t long before our race was about to start. We all did some stretching while talking rubbish, followed by the toilet and grabbing a shot on stage.

We finally came to the flag off point and it was close to 5am. There weren’t that many people and we were near the back of the crowd. We took some photos and chit chat. And when it came to flag off, the 3 officers took off first while gordon and I were together for probably 1min before I took off with a few occasional glances behind till I couldn’t see gordon anymore… Not long, I also passed marshall (the slow and steady) At the first bend, there was such a jam that we were close to walking pace? When the opportunity arose to cut the queue eg. going up the pavement, I took it and my body felt light and the run felt easy so I was kind of overtaking quite a number of people, while enjoying my run. And for this first 5km at least, I was just breezing through, thinking of how this journey has been since joining DBS, the running friends I’ve made, and the fact that I’m doing a 21km right now and imagining me being able to tell people in a few hours that I completed a half marathon!!! I was also just thanking God in my head for this day, for this experience, for these friends and praying for all of us to make it through safely.

The path was familiar once it hit near MBFC… and just near the usual warm up place there was the first water point, and boy the isotonic drink felt so sweet and I was kind of against taking isotonic drink at subsequent water points. It felt so good to be on familiar ground after that. I was still able to enjoy the scenery, think happy thoughts, notice people behaviour eg. a girl taking off her shirt using as towel and men turning over to glance lol. When we were closing up on the sheares bridge which had the first u-turn, was looking out for yellow shirt (lieyang) and tattoo tights (arthur) but didn’t see them all the way till I crossed the uturn, and I was kind of happy I think, knowing that they are far ahead though I was excited to HI them if we were to pass. By then, it was probably close to 7km and accompanied with the fast pace I took at the start, my body was getting a bit tired… Once I was on the other side of the u-turn, I was looking hard for Gordon, but again unsuccessful attempt.

The path proceeded into a darker lit and more gravel like flooring once we turned in to the left. The body was getting more tired too and the run was somewhat not as light hearted and enjoyable… Perhaps the scenery accounted for that as there was not much to see except bushes on the side? Each water check point was more valuable and soon the people around you seem to be constant… And motivational quotes on the board became visible to me suddenly probably because the body is more distracted eg. “Tough race never lasts, tough runners last”. And I also recalled telling myself what Gordon asked me before “I am strong”.

When the path was opposite Singapore Sports Hub, the morning light of the structure took some of the tiredness away. I found out that there is such a thing, race pacers – a group of 4 people with balloons attached on them and timing on their backs. I was close to the 2:20 pacers and moved from an ahead of them to with them to behind them gradually… Breathing also became heavier for me, as I heaved out louder and longer breaths. Later on, we ran past tanjong rhu (the back of dunman high), along the canal and for that moment, it felt refreshing as the thoughts of my school helped to distract me from the run, but it didn’t last quite long. And as each km passed from 12km, I was celebrating in my heart but the celebrations seem to be further and further as each km seemed to grow further apart.

It was probably around the 14/15km, not sure, when I saw a yellow shirt some distance ahead with a familiar body outline. And it didn’t take me long to confirm it was lieyang. And within 1 min or so of me spotting him, he turned around and gave a wave which was responded by a hand gesture signalling “hi, why are u here, go ahead” which later he told me he wasn’t planning to go fast anyway, so go slow today and help me with my run. Soon, I was just slightly behind him.. And we went on like this for quite some distance. Along the way, he would tell me how my timing would be if I maintain at this pace… And I was dying inside to complain, so tiring, but I held it in cause I knew that would not be anyway helpful. Instead, I kept pushing on while the sun was rising … Somehow, memories of the path after tanjong rhu feels blurred out, maybe because of how tiring it got and all I can recall is just nicoll highway.

And then when nearing the 19km mark, there was a u-turn ahead that took so long to reach and water was such a jewel then, so precious and I was so deeply longing for the water point. Throughout the last few km, the quantity of liquid consumed increased from half a cup to full cup, which probably accounted for the stitch I got halfway through. Before the next water point could come, a loud voice came from my right : “COME ON YOU CAN DO IT!” and when I saw that it was Gordon, I gave out an exclaimation “WOOH” and clapped for him even. And though inside me, I remember him saying “If you’re faster than me, I’ll be behind you. If you’re slower than me, I’ll still be behind you” I was just glad he was doing well and managed to catch up! While I was lagging behind Gordon, lieyang slowed down, not sure if it was to wait for arthur.. so I was soon by myself again, for the last 2km or so.

The last km felt like it was taking forever. There was mixed feelings going on too inside, what it’ll be like completing this, will I really cry? And also, I was just telling myself to picture myself running back from MBS to the warm up point but it was not easy as the last stretch felt so long and the image of the finishing point kept resurfacing but I kept pushing that thought away and focused on running. But it seemed that my pace by then was pretty slow.. according to mapmyrun and lieyang who was just behind me. And there was a photographer situated near the end point whom I even arranged my hair for that picture which I’m trying to locate still. This image was witnessed by lieyang just behind me apparently! Whoops!

When the finishing point was in sight, there wasn’t much feeling but to keep going and faster get it done! And when I finally crossed over, not long came lieyang from behind whom I gave a low 5 followed by cheers from Gordon who came from in front! And eventually arthur came, followed by marshall. And nope no tears resulted from this and this time round the isotonic drinks were quickly downed, 2 cans at one go and lots of milo and banana, making it the 4th banana for the day! Then we had some fun taking photos as per my request before finally going for breakfast followed by home with lots of laughters along the way~

Lesson learnt from this: Anything is possible. It’s all in your mind. And at the end of the day, I gained more than I could ask for, a milestone achieved, memories from the race and during this journey, friendship, love, confidence.

Extremely thankful and blessed for this experience. If asked whether I would do this again, I may actually consider it, I think…

Loves, Jaz

Surprise! We’re 2!

As we hit our 2 years officially getting together (not yet married) “anniversary”, here comes the birth of our very own travel blog! hehe.

It’s been an amazing 2 years and I’m sure the road ahead will be even more amazing! May this blog serve as a diary of all the amazing adventures that we share in our exploration on earth together.

Happy 2 year official again, my dear. Thanks for giving me so much love the past 2 years. You’re my best friend, motivator, entertainer, comforter. I love you very much and this love will only grow more each and every day. And hope you like this surprise!

Loves, Jaz